Talking Therapies : Couples therapy for depression
Overview
Couples therapy for depression helps you to understand yourself and your partner better. It can help support you both with the depression, and the distress it causes, while regaining a feeling of closeness.
Relationships are important to our overall wellbeing, and depression can make us feel alone, guilty, or worthless and this can damage even the closest relationships.
For those who are suffering from depression, couples therapy helps by addressing what it is that makes them feel alone and distressed, or what is causing them to feel like they’re being pushed apart or angry with each other.
Couples therapy offers a safe and confidential place where you can explore your feelings with the help of a trained professional. It can help you understand:
• how depression affects both of you in your relationship
• your own and your partner’s emotional and practical needs
• what makes your relationship less satisfying than it could be
• the process of recovering from depression
• patterns of behaviours that cause conflict and how to break them
• feelings of anxiety and stress related to your relationship and family life
• how to adjust to life changes, such as the arrival of children, bereavement, or separation
• how to be more confident about the future
• how to build a better sense of closeness with your partner
• how to improve your sexual relationship, if needed
• how to improve your communication
What treatment involves
With your therapist, you and your partner will both talk about the issues that trouble you and find solutions. Your couples therapist will not take sides, though it may sometimes feel like it.
They will make links between what you expect from a relationship, such as how you were brought up, and build on the strengths that you already have as a couple.
The goal is to enhance your relationship by getting you to work together to create a positive cycle of improved mood and emotional wellbeing that will break you out of repeating patterns of unhappiness in your relationships, allowing for a more stable family life.
Your counsellor will not usually give you advice or tell you how to feel or what to do. Their role is to guide, rather than direct, you to find your own solutions to your challenges – whether that is making changes in your life or finding ways to cope with difficult situations.
Most people will receive 15-20 treatment sessions, usually lasting up to 50 minutes, but this may vary depending on your situation.
Couples therapy for depression is only available by online video call or face-to-face at one of our locations.
We do not offer this treatment by phone call.
Accessing this treatment
To access this therapy you need to complete a wellbeing assessment with NHS Berkshire Talking Therapies, and be offered this treatment by one of our therapists. You may be offered a different treatment if we find another therapy or service is better suited to your needs.
You can refer yourself to NHS Berkshire Talking Therapies for a wellbeing assessment by completing our online form.
Initially, only the person who is experiencing the depressive symptoms should refer themselves to NHS Talking Therapies or you can ask your GP or health professional to refer you.
If your assessment shows that couples therapy could be helpful, we will invite your partner to attend a wellbeing assessment too, before you meet your couples therapist.
Preparing for treatment
Here are a few things you can do to get the most of your treatment:
- attend all sessions on time as planned
- be open and honest about your problems
- make your treatment aims as clear as possible, as working towards a goal can help boost your confidence
- be active in your sessions: ask us questions if you don’t understand a term or phrase we’ve used or if you’re unsure what happens next
- bring a pen and paper to take notes and read back on afterwards, as this will help you remember what we’ve discussed and what you need to do next
- keep your notes and sheets organised in a folder or a notebook
- allow yourself time after each session to gather your thoughts
- complete any tasks between sessions, as agreed with your therapist
- plan time each week to complete any activities we’ve suggested for you
If you're attending your sessions by video call, you will need to have:
- regular access to the internet, including sound, on a phone, tablet or laptop that can play video; and
- a private space to take the call without interruptions or distractions – such as care giving or driving.
- reading glasses, if applicable for you
Frequently asked questions
Who delivers counselling for depression sessions?
You will see a therapist who is trained in couples therapy for depression and accredited with a recognised UK professional body, such as:
- Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC)
- British Association of Psychotherapy and Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
- UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP)
- British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP)
This includes trainees working towards their postgraduate certificate.
Will I have to talk about my childhood or past events?
It may be relevant to talk about your past, if it is having an impact on how well you are managing your symptoms of depression. If you are either avoiding thinking about the past, thinking negatively, or too much, about past events, it can be helpful to look at this but it isn’t always necessary.
More about Talking Therapies
If your question isn’t answered here, you can find additional FAQs about Talking Therapies on our service page.
Support to stay well after your treatment
At the end of your treatment, you can join our online platform called SHaRON (Support Hope and Recovery Resources Online Network).
This is a secure online space for you to connect with others who are on a similar treatment journey and help you maintain the gains made during therapy and stay well.
When you log in, you’ll be able to find support resources such as forums, videos and blogs.
During office hours, you can also use The Wall to talk to peers and to our moderating team, which includes experienced clinicians, former patients, and volunteers, who can provide real-time commentary and support.
It can also be used by relatives and carers who are supporting a friend or relative with their needs.
Ask your therapist to help you get started.